Body language relies on body movements as gestures. It accounts for over 90% of the language we use. It can provide cues and hints about how the other person is feeling and thinking. Learning to read body language is important, since people may not always say what is on their mind.
Be Aware of Your Movements
Unless the room is covered in mirrors, we may not always be aware of the body language we are displaying. Since the majority of body language is nonverbal, we cannot always control what we are ‘saying’, so we must learn to be aware of our movements and gestures to prevent miscommunication. Look at yourself in a reflective surface, such as a mirror or a piece of glass, and practice saying things from a recent conversation you’ve had. Do you show any signs of body language – and what are they? Listen to what other people are saying when they talk to you. Look at the way they act or behave when they are around you or when they speak directly to you. Their body language can often let you know how you are coming across and let you know what message you may be sending out into the room, even if you are not aware of it.
It’s Not What You Say – It’s How You Say It
When we rely on words alone, we can accidentally let all sorts of meanings and phrases that were never meant to, come out. Linguistic tools such as tone, emphasis, and even pitch can make the simplest or nicest phrase come out wrong. The emphasis we place on certain words comes naturally, but might seem off-putting to others and lead to a confused message.
Open vs. Closed Body Language
Our body language is like a traffic light to the those around us. Open body language can signal a green light for people to approach and engage in conversations. Closed body language can signal a red light and make people want to keep their distance. Open body language includes gestures such as having open hands and palms, making eye contact, and reaching out to greet someone. Closed body language such as crossing the arms, turning the head away and constantly fidgeting, is much less inviting. This kind of body language can make you seem defensive and withholding from those around you. If you wish to communicate well with others, it is important to realize how to use (and not use) your body to speak out.
Communicate with Power
When you communicate with others, you want your message to be powerful. Before you begin, think about what you want to say, and how you want your message to come across. When you finish speaking, listen to what the other person has to say, nod your head and ask follow up questions. Turn your body to the other person and give them your full attention during the session. As always, remove any distractions.
This post is from July’s topic on Social intelligence, which is also a course on our Executive Mini-MBA program online from Harvard Square.
