By being aware of our actions and behaviors we change not only ourselves but our surroundings. We must be aware of what we are communicating and how our behaviors can affect others.
Remove or Limit Self-Deception
Self-deception is commonly used to hide something from ourselves or prevent ourselves from accepting something. We try to make ourselves believe whatever we want and alter the facts in our mind. For instance, we can deceive ourselves by thinking that our presentation was the best in the group or deceive ourselves by believing that people are talking about us when we walk away. It can affect our relationships with others and give people the wrong impression. One of the simplest ways to prevent this type of deception is to be direct.
Ask For Feedback
We often forget that one of the tools we can use to increase self-awareness is to ask for feedback from those around us. It doesn’t have to be a lengthy or complicated process and can be done very professionally or casually. The people around us see our routine actions and behaviors and can offer an honest opinion. The thought of asking someone to share their opinions and thoughts about us may seem unnerving and even downright scary, but their advice and thoughts can prove invaluable. If possible, let the person know in advance that you want feedback so they have time to form an impression and gather any tips or hints. A random request for feedback (such as right after a meeting) can be acceptable too, but keep in mind the person may be caught off guard and unable to offer a good answer right away.
Be Open to Change
We are creatures of habit, and when things don’t go our way, we tend to internalize and take things personally. Being open to change allows us to adapt to new surroundings and situations and helps us grow. Changing our attitude can help determine how we build our connections. Sometimes after we receive feedback from our peers, we may need to change how we do things or behave in a group. Perhaps after a meeting we decide we need to change how we plan our presentations. Whatever the reason, it is important to not disregard the importance of change and turn a blind eye to its prospects. Changing how we see ourselves and the people that surround us can have a positive impact on our attitudes and can help build better relationships with our peers.
Reflect On Your Actions
While feedback from other people can be a great tool, personal feedback can be just as valuable. Being reflective gives us a chance to learn from our experiences (even our mistakes) and recognize the chance for learning opportunities. By reflecting on our actions, we can see firsthand what actions we took, how they played out, and what kind of effect they had on people. Use all of your senses to recreate an experience in your mind and the actions that you took. What behaviors did you exhibit? What did you feel at the time? What type of reactions did you receive from other people?
Reflect on any body language cues you may have used and make note of any cues you may have seen in others. What intuitions or gut feelings do you feel from the experience? Do you feel as though you have learned anything new from the experience? These steps can help you reflect on your actions and increase your self-awareness, and your awareness of others.
This post is from July’s topic on Social intelligence, which is also a course on our Executive Mini-MBA program online from Harvard Square.
